Hey everyone! It's been a long time, things have been crazy, blah blah blah. If you don't mind, I'll just dive right in to what I want to say:
Life is never stable. The things that are stable happen to be the most important things: family, friends, spouses, and above all, God. Essentially, people who we love. Nothing else is ever stable.
As you all know, I'm a planner. If I could, I would plan every moment of my life right up until my death because I'm weird like that. I even color code my planner. Now that's pretty nuts. So naturally it drives me rather crazy when the future ahead is unknown. I think that applies to a lot of us. But as we all know, even when we make plans, more often than not, they change. Hence why we all constantly affirm this truth with the saying "The best way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans".
Nothing is really set for me right now. I don't know where I will be after I graduate college; could be here, may very likely be back in SD. I don't know where I'll go to grad school, what degree I'll pursue first (still wildly hoping to study both theology and literature), what I'll even end up doing. I don't even know how I will earn my primary source of income for the time being. This has all been driving me insane for several months. But not anymore.
In my few years living on my own, experience has confirmed that God always provides, often especially when the days ahead of us seem like a looming black hole. In fact, that's often when God provides in ways beyond what we had imagined or desired for ourselves. So, I'm not worried anymore. I desperately wanted to hold on to my apartment, this city, heck, even UCR. But the only things in life we really should hold on to are the people we love. All of this may sound cliche, but as I always say, certain sayings became cliche for a reason: there's truth to them. So now, while I'm certainly not complacent in matters such as job searches, living arrangements, grad schools, and Joe's and my marriage plans, I'm not worried about it. I'd be lying if I said I'm not still getting more stress pimples by the hour because of all this uncertainty, but it's all rather exciting (the uncertainty, I mean. The pimples are annoying).
So, my whole point is, we're never comfortable in life. I can't tell you how many times I've heard members of our parents' generation that are approaching retirement age say, "I thought my life would be set right now, but it's not. When does my life begin?" (in a recent phone discussion with my mom, I responded to her that hers actually began approximately 58 years ago). We will never be totally financially, logistically, or practically stable, but we're not supposed to be. That's a huge part of our spiritual journey: learning how to rely on God in all matters as our primary source of stable support, protection, and love. It's only when we learn to do that consistently that we will feel comfortable within the discomfort, and peace within the anxiety-inducing unknown. Personally, I believe that it is times like these when everything is up in the air and we're not certain of anything in life anymore that God does some of his most amazing and transformative work. So, let's all be excited in this journey of uncertainty, because our time wandering in the desert will lead us to a place beyond our wildest dreams.
Meggo,
ReplyDeleteCan I tell you how perfectly perfect this blog post is right now? Especially for all of us who are about to graduate. Ever since Ive been in Madrid I have had the same feelings. Where will I live when Im back in CA? Will I get a job? Will I find a roomate? Will someone be backpacking across Europe with me? Yet, I feel this peace come across me after about a half second of panic because I know God has an amazing plan. Love you, cant wait to talk.
Meggers!!!! Wise words my friend...wise words. I understand the feeling. This is something God has been teaching me. Im going home in a couple weeks (actually I'm here right now but for good in a couple weeks) but I don't know how long I'll be there/here and when i'll find a job and where....???
ReplyDeleteI'l learning to embrace this "inbetween" time and realizing that God doesn't see this as an "inbetween uncertain" time. He has a purpose for this time. He has a purpose for us each and every day, right now...this second! God is going to use this time to work in us and to work through us, we may not be sure how, but He has a perfect plan.
I too can catch myself acting like an Israelite wandering though the wilderness complaining and fearing. But seriously, how many time must God prove his faithfulness and Endless Love for us to Trust Him? He has provided so much Manna for us, more than we needed, and it tasted more heavenly then we could have ever made ourselves.
Recently I read a devotional and it talked about a little girl asking her dad questions like... "Do you love me?" "Will you protect me?" "Will you feed me when I'm hungry?" The dad felt awful. He asked her why she felt she had to ask these things? Hasn't he always taken care of her before? I can't imagine what it would feel like to be a mother and have your little 4 year old ask you these questions, and God's love is so much Bigger than humanly love. He is a better parent then anyone can ever be. Lets rest in His sunshine and know we are being taken care of. We are safe in His arms.
If we are walking hand and hand with God, even the Desert is a Beautiful place.
Love you Lots Darling.
Oh I love you both so much. Hayley, I set up skype so we can talk. Shelly, that story is amazing. I've heard before that we shouldn't ask God for the things we need (don't remember which Gospel-Matthew?) because he already knows what we need and there's no way he'll let us go without. If anything, perhaps we need to humbly adjust our own perception of what it is we truly need.
ReplyDeleteLove both of you beautiful women <3