The Danger of Fantasies

So I'm tabling the Cosmo Critique for now, but I will definitely return to it. This past week, however, I've really been contemplating the role that fantasies play in our minds, hearts, and ultimately our lives.

I can basically pinpoint the root of my fall into impurity to the fantasies I indulged from youth. Naturally, as a child, these started out innocent enough, but as I grew older and "those" hormones kicked in, these thoughts became increasingly - erm - detailed.

Now, I'm not condemning fantasies in general. When you're in the throes of exams, knee-deep in final papers, oftentimes, fantasizing about the wonderful rewards that await you, once the dreaded week ends, can keep you motivated. However, I feel that we must exercise an extreme caution when it comes to fantasies, particularly in the romance department. I say this because as my fantasies grew increasingly intense, I was unknowingly allowing lust to foster in my heart. And after having dreamed and drooled for years over these thoughts, naturally, once I entered into romantic relationships, I was headed for destruction.

This is not so surprising. After all, if you are planning a trip to the grocery store, and you spend a solid week thinking about a particular brand of ice cream (in my case it would likely be Ben and Jerry's "Mint Chocolate Cookie"), contemplating the delicious flavor and unconsciously convincing yourself that nothing would satisfy you more than to get your hands on a frosted tub of heart-attack ingredients, then what do you think you will grab first when you finally get to the store?

You grabbed the Ben and Jerry's, didn't you? I knew it. I rest my case. Or, at least that part of it...

Another danger with allowing our fantasies to spiral out of control, other than the fact that it often leads us into sin by pumping lust into our hearts, concerns our tendency to view a person in the way that we would like to see them, rather than as they actually are. This happens especially in romantic relationships, and it does a serious disservice to ourselves and to the object of our fantasy (herein lies one of the problems: the "object" - this is what we turn a person into when we manipulate our perception of him/her to fit our specific fantasy). If we project our own ideals, constructed in the throes of our fantasies, onto another person, then we cannot properly evaluate them as a potential future spouse, for we have misguidedly characterized them in our mind. Furthermore, tensions often brood as a result of this projection of fantastical ideals onto the other. When the other person inevitably fails to conform to the falsely created perception that we have of them, disappointments surface, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy, as well as just plain heartbreak.

Finally, we need to live in the HERE and NOW, in the reality of our lives rather than the fantasy that we so often seem to prefer. The fact that we tend to prefer the latter once again demonstrates the fact that we are, well, silly. Here's why: God gave us the specific lives that we each lead. Yes, we bear overwhelming hardships and sometimes seemingly impossible suffering. Yet, all things that God gives us are good, for they provide us the opportunity to grow in holiness, goodness, and love. So, I ask you, what could possibly be better than what God has given us?